A dog's bucket list
1. Find a spot to ay down
2. Turn around
3. Turn around
4. Turn around
5. Lay down
6. Trick the humans by barking at the door when you didn't actually hear anything
7. Eat a filet mignon. Or some throwup. What do you care you're a dog.
8. Get onto YouTube with an adorable video
9. Knock over a small child
10. Spade or neuter a human, see how they like it!
My favorite quotes from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(Notice the logic in this one. It's logically sound, through the premises are fallacious, which is why I found it so funny)
This one proves that the universe is uninhabited:
“It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.”
And now my real favorite, I actually laughed as I read it:
“What's the problem Earthman?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump.
"I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to," said Arthur, "it's heartless."
"Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.
"That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ..."
The Universe raged about him in its death throes.
"I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.
"May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."
"A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.
"A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.
"Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"
"Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."
It managed a very slight bow.
"Glass of water please," said Arthur.”
"I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to," said Arthur, "it's heartless."
"Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.
"That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ..."
The Universe raged about him in its death throes.
"I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.
"May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."
"A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.
"A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.
"Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"
"Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."
It managed a very slight bow.
"Glass of water please," said Arthur.”
Mary's Mission Call is Here
Guys, it's here. SOOOOOOO crazy. When she actually leaves she'll be younger than I was when I left. I still think it hasn't quite hit me. But tomorrow evening I'll be heading down to Vegas with a few of my favorite people (not mentioning any names because they don't read this anyway) and I'm really excited for it. My guess is that she goes Chinese speaking to Taiwan Taibei. She'll at least go Chinese somewhere. Gonna miss that little fireball!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Love as always, and don't panic,
Moody
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