Veteran's Day Satire

Dear Folks,

In honor of Veteran's Day (Happy Veteran's Day), I get to tell war stories... real war stories (not really).  

(The following is a satire and is only mostly true)

"Communism in the Caribbean: What's Up With That?"

Communism and the Caribbean have had a love affair and tale that is as old as time (and song as old as rhyme).  But many of you are wondering, why the Caribbean?

Communism has its roots set in the bleak Prusso-German region of Europe (Karl Marx) and it eventually made its way out east to the even bleaker Russian landscape.  After attempts to market itself to the world, Communism found China and Vietnam.  The only problem with all of these places is that they are not the greatest tourist attracting venues. ("Welcome to Mother Russia; where the only thing colder than the vodka is the people." or "Good Morning Vietnam! Where the smell of napalm never ceases...Pho." or "China Wercomes You! You no come no reave fo' many dynasties...[Except Ian]").  The Communist gods frowned with shame as their empire was not attractive to outsiders (or insiders).  Not only were they in the most miserable of climates, they would be trounced in Olympic track events as well (but not hockey or gymnastics, "You do flips or KGB fires").  But, somehow, they saw the peaceful isles of the Caribbean, and it was a match made in Leningrad.  Sprinters and wonderful sub-tropical climate galore!

Since the early 20th century, Cuba was a breeding spot for socialist indoctrination (for exact facts and dates, see Wikipedia).  Cuba is a beautiful island with beaches that could be filled with the proletariat and socialist elites as far as the eye could see.  Communism had found its promised land.  In 1961, Fidel Castro finally came out of the socioeconomic closet by openly declaring himself as a Marxist-Leninist (and the birth of the CCCP, "The Cute Cuban Communist Party" is what it translates to in English).  Then, shortly after that in 1962, something called the Cuban Missile Crisis happened.  After many talks of "red buttons" and "anti-red, pinko, Commi buttons" to be pushed, eventually, none of said buttons were pushed and there was a cooling down in the Cold War (but not the Havanna night life, ay Papi!).

Blah, blah, blah, we fast forward to 1983, when Communists try to extend their evil red grasp upon another Caribbean nation, Grenada (also known as the Spice Island, apparently not only are the people bland in the Soviet Union and China, but so is the food).  But you know what happened next?  That's right...

AMERICA!

So, American troops land and stave off a military coup with help from other Eastern Caribbean nations, thus, containing the Communists to Cuba... and that's it!  As a result, the travel and tourism industry as well as the Olympic medal counts stay in a healthy balance.

Hazzah for Grenada!

In conclusion, the Communists wanted the Caribbean to increase their tourist attractiveness and to gain an edge in Olympic track and field sprint events... The End

Veterans, we salute you!

Zipson