Hello.
It's finals week. I also got an iPad for my birthday. It is a week of F words. Finals. FIFA on the iPad. And... well, whatever other F words you wish to include.
FIFA my teams have been West Ham United in the Premiere League, Ipswich City in the FA Champions League, and Côte d'Ivoire for everything else.
Drogba!
Well, that's all I had.
Love,
Zac
Monday, December 10, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Moody's Corner - Little Things
It's been a while since I last posted and we're all very sorry. Well those of us who still post are anyway. Finals are coming up soon so I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet. Here's a list of little things that bother me:
1. Sharing spoons and straws.
Forks, knives, and sporks are all fine. Somehow it's the idea of having to share a utensil that is used mostly by pressing one's lips against it really bothers me. I won't even share spoons with my immediate family.
2. When someone licks my ice cream.
Again this goes back to the spoon idea. No one else's tongue belongs on my delectable combination of sugar, dairy, and rainbows.
3. When people make gross sounds with their mouths.
What is worse than someone smacking their lips or swishing goodness-knows-what inside their mouths when I'm close enough to hear it? The answer is bad haircuts. Or someone licking my ice cream. But that's it! It's like, the third worst sound in existence.
4. Someone arguing with me about a topic that is purely opinion based.
Now I don't mean those fun arguments that occur just for the humor of the situation. For example people arguing that country music is good is just hilarious. I'm talking about someone arguing with me that The Hills is a good show. Or that Twilight is well written. That's up to you. It really doesn't matter to me what your opinion on the subject is, so why would you care if I dislike it?
5. Poor grammar or spelling on facebook.
I am a total hypocrite on this one. My English is still elementary at best. But when someone posts a status on facebook that looks like this:
Read that status of the guy whose name is in black and burred. He spelled basically everything wrong.
As a disclaimer I definitely spelled something wrong or used poor grammar at some point in this tirade. Haters gonna hate I guess. Or maybe YOLO is appropriate in this situation... I really don't get YOLO still.
6. YOLO
What does that even mean? You only live once right? Shouldn't that mean you take care of yourself better and don't participate in stupid activities? Oh well.
7. Instagram.
I never get as many likes as my artistically filtered photos of food deserve.
8. Bros.
If your door has a sign on it that says, "No fat chicks," I don't like you. I use the term 'bro' as a replacement for a more offensive, yet situationally appropriate word that I won't put up on the interwebs.
9. Smells
My nose is somewhat sensitive to scents and odors. I don't like things that smell bad. Or things that smell too strongly. Examples include paint, garbage, sewage, and that smell of potatoes that have been rotting on the floor for 2 months.
10. When people list their grievances.
... Dang it.
If you're taking the time to read this then you're the best internet followers I've ever had and I love you very much.
Wish us all luck with finals!
Moody
UPDATE:
This girl is trying sticking up for bad spelling, and we can't have that can we?
1. Sharing spoons and straws.
Forks, knives, and sporks are all fine. Somehow it's the idea of having to share a utensil that is used mostly by pressing one's lips against it really bothers me. I won't even share spoons with my immediate family.
2. When someone licks my ice cream.
Again this goes back to the spoon idea. No one else's tongue belongs on my delectable combination of sugar, dairy, and rainbows.
3. When people make gross sounds with their mouths.
What is worse than someone smacking their lips or swishing goodness-knows-what inside their mouths when I'm close enough to hear it? The answer is bad haircuts. Or someone licking my ice cream. But that's it! It's like, the third worst sound in existence.
4. Someone arguing with me about a topic that is purely opinion based.
Now I don't mean those fun arguments that occur just for the humor of the situation. For example people arguing that country music is good is just hilarious. I'm talking about someone arguing with me that The Hills is a good show. Or that Twilight is well written. That's up to you. It really doesn't matter to me what your opinion on the subject is, so why would you care if I dislike it?
I am a total hypocrite on this one. My English is still elementary at best. But when someone posts a status on facebook that looks like this:
Read that status of the guy whose name is in black and burred. He spelled basically everything wrong.
As a disclaimer I definitely spelled something wrong or used poor grammar at some point in this tirade. Haters gonna hate I guess. Or maybe YOLO is appropriate in this situation... I really don't get YOLO still.
6. YOLO
What does that even mean? You only live once right? Shouldn't that mean you take care of yourself better and don't participate in stupid activities? Oh well.
7. Instagram.
I never get as many likes as my artistically filtered photos of food deserve.
8. Bros.
If your door has a sign on it that says, "No fat chicks," I don't like you. I use the term 'bro' as a replacement for a more offensive, yet situationally appropriate word that I won't put up on the interwebs.
9. Smells
My nose is somewhat sensitive to scents and odors. I don't like things that smell bad. Or things that smell too strongly. Examples include paint, garbage, sewage, and that smell of potatoes that have been rotting on the floor for 2 months.
10. When people list their grievances.
... Dang it.
If you're taking the time to read this then you're the best internet followers I've ever had and I love you very much.
Wish us all luck with finals!
Moody
UPDATE:
This girl is trying sticking up for bad spelling, and we can't have that can we?
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Tuesdays with Ian - Keep Your Options Open?
Every time I am compelled to order something at a restaurant with more than 3 things on the menu (ie hamburger, cheeseburger, bacon burger), it necessitates an almost unparalleled herculean act of decision-making and resolve. And even with only three choices, it can get pretty complicated. Am I willing to spend more money on extra strips of bacon in order to satisfy my appetite for grease and fatty meat or will I be equally satisfied with the normal hamburger at a reduced cost? The repercussions of a misstep or poor decision could be too ghastly to contemplate or, as I learned in Chinese class the other day, 不堪设想。
Judging by the paralysis induced by as simple a decision such as the aforementioned entree selection, just imagine the abject trepidation caused by a vastly more important decision, such as deciding whether Colgate is the brand of toothpaste for me or if Crest is more favorable choice where my dental hygiene is concerned.
In all seriousness though, to be a young university student in the 21st century is to navigate an ocean of decisions about the future in a 1-man rowboat of experience. In a biological sense, I am a stem-cell attempting to determine what course of differentiation will lead to fulfillment, satisfaction and future self-actualization. Do I want to be a heart-tissue cell, skin cell, brain cell, muscle cell? Musician, dermatologist, rocket scientist, mechanical engineer? The possibilities are endless... but the question is, which is best?
Here's another question. Does it matter that much? Sometimes I wish it was just like the old days and you did whatever your father did and called it quits. Who says my life wouldn't be just as happy and fulfilling if I was a blacksmith like my good ol' pop! (He's not really a blacksmith if you're wondering...) Or a farmer or doctor or whatever. The point is, in a world of outsourcing and specialization, why can't decision-making be left to some omniscient, benevolent being bent on our eternal welfare?
Unfortunately, said all-knowing being likely understands the importance of me making decisions on my own.
Bottom line is: I have far too many options.
Judging by the paralysis induced by as simple a decision such as the aforementioned entree selection, just imagine the abject trepidation caused by a vastly more important decision, such as deciding whether Colgate is the brand of toothpaste for me or if Crest is more favorable choice where my dental hygiene is concerned.
In all seriousness though, to be a young university student in the 21st century is to navigate an ocean of decisions about the future in a 1-man rowboat of experience. In a biological sense, I am a stem-cell attempting to determine what course of differentiation will lead to fulfillment, satisfaction and future self-actualization. Do I want to be a heart-tissue cell, skin cell, brain cell, muscle cell? Musician, dermatologist, rocket scientist, mechanical engineer? The possibilities are endless... but the question is, which is best?
Here's another question. Does it matter that much? Sometimes I wish it was just like the old days and you did whatever your father did and called it quits. Who says my life wouldn't be just as happy and fulfilling if I was a blacksmith like my good ol' pop! (He's not really a blacksmith if you're wondering...) Or a farmer or doctor or whatever. The point is, in a world of outsourcing and specialization, why can't decision-making be left to some omniscient, benevolent being bent on our eternal welfare?
Unfortunately, said all-knowing being likely understands the importance of me making decisions on my own.
Bottom line is: I have far too many options.
 |
| Oh if only the air was this clear... |
Monday, December 3, 2012
Comeback
Dear Folks,
I have been slacking on posting my regular Monday blog post. My deepest and most sincere apologies to people that wait around for Mondays just to read my mediocre writing. I know that this is a small group, so, I also extend my apology to all who may read this.
But, this has inspired me for my post today. My comeback post...
I have been slacking on posting my regular Monday blog post. My deepest and most sincere apologies to people that wait around for Mondays just to read my mediocre writing. I know that this is a small group, so, I also extend my apology to all who may read this.
But, this has inspired me for my post today. My comeback post...
LL Cool J said it best...
The Red Sox did it in 2004, coming back from a 3-0 deficit to beat the Yankees in the ALCS en route to their World Series Title to end "the curse."
AC/DC did it after the death of lead singer Bon Scott with Brian Johnson and Back In Black
"Don't call it a comeback,"
Zac
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Tuesdays with Ian - Productivity
"What the deuce am I doing?"
Finding myself awake at 8AM on Friday morning, eyes adjusting to rays of early sunlight streaming through the window, fingers throbbing and still clutching to the xbox controller that had kept me alive during the sleepless night of frantic zombie apocalypse survival, I had little choice but to ask the above question.
Although I realize many likely take offense at the coarse diction of the above sentence ("deuce"), there come times when we all have to ask it of ourselves. Although it could, of course, refer to any number of ridiculous behaviors/unwise decisions, I'm going to talk a little about how it relates to the concept of "productivity."
I don't know about you, but I find myself having to regularly assess the "productivity" of my behavior. And although I often do so, I seldom consider what productivity really is and whether it's even a good idea at all.
Some of my first experiences with the term "productive" stem from my interactions with my parents, who are among the most "productive" people I know and consistently urge me in a similar direction. But let's take a moment and consider the meaning of the word.
Dictionary.com says "having the power of producing" which is entirely unhelpful. Producing, then, is defined as "being productive"... which causes me to wonder if the editors of dictionary.com might have spent a little too much time playing xbox and not enough doing their job... ok just kidding. It's actually "to bring into existence by intellectual or creative activity." Okay.
Adolf Hitler. Now there was a productive guy. He actually managed to bring unemployment in Germany down to 0% for a time. How's that for productivity? And how about all that forced slave labor? You can bet that sure cut down big time on unproductive activities like laughing or eating. Or sleeping.
Based on this example, we can conclude productivity to be an evil practice resulting in the pain and misery of millions.
Many of you might argue that a sample size of one is hardly sufficient to draw conclusions from. Fine. Let me double the sample size: Joseph Stalin. Booyah.
Frankly speaking, from some perspectives, life can be pretty pointless. Consider, for example, making your bed. My clever counter-argument to my parents'' admonitions to make my bed was that I would be sleeping in it again in probably less than 16 hours thereby rendering such an activity a complete waste of my time. I guess we could consider the bed manufacturer at least as a productive agent in the equation. But who's to say I wouldn't be better off just sleeping on the ground? It could, after all, be better for my back.
In any case, it could be argued that everything we do is a pointless waste of time. In which case, it may be appropriate to question why I am even engaging in an activity that so dangerously resembles bringing something into existence by intellectual or creative means... I could be killing zombies right now.
Finding myself awake at 8AM on Friday morning, eyes adjusting to rays of early sunlight streaming through the window, fingers throbbing and still clutching to the xbox controller that had kept me alive during the sleepless night of frantic zombie apocalypse survival, I had little choice but to ask the above question.
Although I realize many likely take offense at the coarse diction of the above sentence ("deuce"), there come times when we all have to ask it of ourselves. Although it could, of course, refer to any number of ridiculous behaviors/unwise decisions, I'm going to talk a little about how it relates to the concept of "productivity."
I don't know about you, but I find myself having to regularly assess the "productivity" of my behavior. And although I often do so, I seldom consider what productivity really is and whether it's even a good idea at all.
Some of my first experiences with the term "productive" stem from my interactions with my parents, who are among the most "productive" people I know and consistently urge me in a similar direction. But let's take a moment and consider the meaning of the word.
Dictionary.com says "having the power of producing" which is entirely unhelpful. Producing, then, is defined as "being productive"... which causes me to wonder if the editors of dictionary.com might have spent a little too much time playing xbox and not enough doing their job... ok just kidding. It's actually "to bring into existence by intellectual or creative activity." Okay.
Adolf Hitler. Now there was a productive guy. He actually managed to bring unemployment in Germany down to 0% for a time. How's that for productivity? And how about all that forced slave labor? You can bet that sure cut down big time on unproductive activities like laughing or eating. Or sleeping.
Based on this example, we can conclude productivity to be an evil practice resulting in the pain and misery of millions.
Many of you might argue that a sample size of one is hardly sufficient to draw conclusions from. Fine. Let me double the sample size: Joseph Stalin. Booyah.
Frankly speaking, from some perspectives, life can be pretty pointless. Consider, for example, making your bed. My clever counter-argument to my parents'' admonitions to make my bed was that I would be sleeping in it again in probably less than 16 hours thereby rendering such an activity a complete waste of my time. I guess we could consider the bed manufacturer at least as a productive agent in the equation. But who's to say I wouldn't be better off just sleeping on the ground? It could, after all, be better for my back.
In any case, it could be argued that everything we do is a pointless waste of time. In which case, it may be appropriate to question why I am even engaging in an activity that so dangerously resembles bringing something into existence by intellectual or creative means... I could be killing zombies right now.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Moody's Corner - For the Candy
Nice short one today everyone, Blickenstaff's Toy Store will give you free candy if you post their a link to their store on a blog so here it goes:https://www.facebook.com/Blickenstaffs
http://www.shopsatriverwoods.com/shopping/blickenstaffs.html
Blickenstaff's sells great candy, ranging from your traditional chocolate covered what-nots to more exotic gummy strawberries (which happens to be Carleigh's favorite). They're located in the Riverwood shopping complex in Provo, Utah and I highly recommend at least sampling some of their merchandise. Enjoy!!!
Also guys it's almost thanksgiving, and as you all should know, Thanksgiving happens to be my favorite holiday! WOOTWOOT.
Peace,
Moody
Monday, November 12, 2012
Veteran's Day Satire
Dear Folks,
Communism and the Caribbean have had a love affair and tale that is as old as time (and song as old as rhyme). But many of you are wondering, why the Caribbean?
Communism has its roots set in the bleak Prusso-German region of Europe (Karl Marx) and it eventually made its way out east to the even bleaker Russian landscape. After attempts to market itself to the world, Communism found China and Vietnam. The only problem with all of these places is that they are not the greatest tourist attracting venues. ("Welcome to Mother Russia; where the only thing colder than the vodka is the people." or "Good Morning Vietnam! Where the smell of napalm never ceases...Pho." or "China Wercomes You! You no come no reave fo' many dynasties...[Except Ian]"). The Communist gods frowned with shame as their empire was not attractive to outsiders (or insiders). Not only were they in the most miserable of climates, they would be trounced in Olympic track events as well (but not hockey or gymnastics, "You do flips or KGB fires"). But, somehow, they saw the peaceful isles of the Caribbean, and it was a match made in Leningrad. Sprinters and wonderful sub-tropical climate galore!
Since the early 20th century, Cuba was a breeding spot for socialist indoctrination (for exact facts and dates, see Wikipedia). Cuba is a beautiful island with beaches that could be filled with the proletariat and socialist elites as far as the eye could see. Communism had found its promised land. In 1961, Fidel Castro finally came out of the socioeconomic closet by openly declaring himself as a Marxist-Leninist (and the birth of the CCCP, "The Cute Cuban Communist Party" is what it translates to in English). Then, shortly after that in 1962, something called the Cuban Missile Crisis happened. After many talks of "red buttons" and "anti-red, pinko, Commi buttons" to be pushed, eventually, none of said buttons were pushed and there was a cooling down in the Cold War (but not the Havanna night life, ay Papi!).
Blah, blah, blah, we fast forward to 1983, when Communists try to extend their evil red grasp upon another Caribbean nation, Grenada (also known as the Spice Island, apparently not only are the people bland in the Soviet Union and China, but so is the food). But you know what happened next? That's right...
So, American troops land and stave off a military coup with help from other Eastern Caribbean nations, thus, containing the Communists to Cuba... and that's it! As a result, the travel and tourism industry as well as the Olympic medal counts stay in a healthy balance.
In conclusion, the Communists wanted the Caribbean to increase their tourist attractiveness and to gain an edge in Olympic track and field sprint events... The End
Veterans, we salute you!
Zipson
In honor of Veteran's Day (Happy Veteran's Day), I get to tell war stories... real war stories (not really).
(The following is a satire and is only mostly true)
"Communism in the Caribbean: What's Up With That?"
Communism and the Caribbean have had a love affair and tale that is as old as time (and song as old as rhyme). But many of you are wondering, why the Caribbean?
Communism has its roots set in the bleak Prusso-German region of Europe (Karl Marx) and it eventually made its way out east to the even bleaker Russian landscape. After attempts to market itself to the world, Communism found China and Vietnam. The only problem with all of these places is that they are not the greatest tourist attracting venues. ("Welcome to Mother Russia; where the only thing colder than the vodka is the people." or "Good Morning Vietnam! Where the smell of napalm never ceases...Pho." or "China Wercomes You! You no come no reave fo' many dynasties...[Except Ian]"). The Communist gods frowned with shame as their empire was not attractive to outsiders (or insiders). Not only were they in the most miserable of climates, they would be trounced in Olympic track events as well (but not hockey or gymnastics, "You do flips or KGB fires"). But, somehow, they saw the peaceful isles of the Caribbean, and it was a match made in Leningrad. Sprinters and wonderful sub-tropical climate galore!
Since the early 20th century, Cuba was a breeding spot for socialist indoctrination (for exact facts and dates, see Wikipedia). Cuba is a beautiful island with beaches that could be filled with the proletariat and socialist elites as far as the eye could see. Communism had found its promised land. In 1961, Fidel Castro finally came out of the socioeconomic closet by openly declaring himself as a Marxist-Leninist (and the birth of the CCCP, "The Cute Cuban Communist Party" is what it translates to in English). Then, shortly after that in 1962, something called the Cuban Missile Crisis happened. After many talks of "red buttons" and "anti-red, pinko, Commi buttons" to be pushed, eventually, none of said buttons were pushed and there was a cooling down in the Cold War (but not the Havanna night life, ay Papi!).
Blah, blah, blah, we fast forward to 1983, when Communists try to extend their evil red grasp upon another Caribbean nation, Grenada (also known as the Spice Island, apparently not only are the people bland in the Soviet Union and China, but so is the food). But you know what happened next? That's right...
AMERICA!
So, American troops land and stave off a military coup with help from other Eastern Caribbean nations, thus, containing the Communists to Cuba... and that's it! As a result, the travel and tourism industry as well as the Olympic medal counts stay in a healthy balance.
Hazzah for Grenada!
Veterans, we salute you!
Zipson
Friday, November 9, 2012
Christian's reign of unfunniness
I am seizing control of this website. You have been warned. The following is a few attempts at some jokes I made up:
I am amazed that people haven't had me committed to a mental hospital, because I talk to myself a lot. Frequently it's because my computer microphone has come unplugged. It wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't playing online games and saying things like "I will trade you 5 vials of thick blood for 3 tomatoes."
Other times people catch me singing. I like to sing along with my iPhone music on the way to class. The target volume at which I sing is just so that the person walking closest to me can't hear me. But sometimes people sneak up on me from behind. Then they hear me sing things out of context, like "I'd be slowly walking in a group stalking you. You'd be the only man alive that I could not resist!"
At BYU, you always hear that there are girls that are desperate to get married. I don't believe it's true, or I wouldn't be so desperate to get a date.
I went to space camp last year. I got kicked out because I was a bad astronaut. No one's told me what a tronaut is yet.
The relative safety of any given street is inversely proportional to how comfortable I would be if I picked my nose.
I find that a female described to me as a "lady" is typically more attractive than any given female who might be described to me as a "woman." The reverse is true if this label is preceded by the word "cat."
Have a nice night!
-Christian under the authority of Eliot.
Tuesdays with Ian - Why Am I In a Hipster Band?
Yes I realize it is no longer Tuesday and that I did not post last week and for this I apologize profusely. In my defense, I was lazy.
I formed a band today. The band consists of me. And Mitch. I am, of course, is the lead guitarist and lead vocalist. And Mitch plays... the recorder.
Now I know you're probably thinking what Mitch said to me when I formed the band, "the penny whistle and guitar don't really go too well together" or maybe "I would rather throw myself repeatedly against a barbed wire fence than listen to you play the guitar" (not really an altogether fair statement considering the fact that I'm pretty darn good at the guitar for only having been playing for about a week now and it's been a long time since I've seen a barbed wire fence thereby effectively eliminating that as an option). But let's examine this claim in greater detail.
A conventional rock band, of course, consists of a set of drums, guitar, bass guitar, and sometimes a keyboard. Or saxophone. If you're from the 80's or something. Or if you're really in an 80's band then you'll probably have a synthesizer. Or two. But let's be honest. How trite! How contrived! How... and prepare yourselves for this last adjective for I know how offensive it is to the ears of genuine indie hipsters... Mainstream...
Of course being in a hipster band has its disadvantages: running the risk of actually becoming well-known and popular, exposing yourself to the pretentious and sarcastic barbs of fellow pretentious indie band-mates, the possibility of getting lazy and becoming an "experimental noise" group... the list goes on. But the genius of the concept is in the fact that the fewer the people that like you, the cooler and more hip you can be.
Isn't is great to be obscure? Mitch and I sure think so. And that's why we haven't even come up with a band name yet. People can hardly chant and scream and support your band when they don't even know what it's called.
Also don't link this to anyone... And don't tell your friends.
So without further ado, here's Mitch and my first single:
I formed a band today. The band consists of me. And Mitch. I am, of course, is the lead guitarist and lead vocalist. And Mitch plays... the recorder.
Now I know you're probably thinking what Mitch said to me when I formed the band, "the penny whistle and guitar don't really go too well together" or maybe "I would rather throw myself repeatedly against a barbed wire fence than listen to you play the guitar" (not really an altogether fair statement considering the fact that I'm pretty darn good at the guitar for only having been playing for about a week now and it's been a long time since I've seen a barbed wire fence thereby effectively eliminating that as an option). But let's examine this claim in greater detail.
A conventional rock band, of course, consists of a set of drums, guitar, bass guitar, and sometimes a keyboard. Or saxophone. If you're from the 80's or something. Or if you're really in an 80's band then you'll probably have a synthesizer. Or two. But let's be honest. How trite! How contrived! How... and prepare yourselves for this last adjective for I know how offensive it is to the ears of genuine indie hipsters... Mainstream...
Of course being in a hipster band has its disadvantages: running the risk of actually becoming well-known and popular, exposing yourself to the pretentious and sarcastic barbs of fellow pretentious indie band-mates, the possibility of getting lazy and becoming an "experimental noise" group... the list goes on. But the genius of the concept is in the fact that the fewer the people that like you, the cooler and more hip you can be.
Isn't is great to be obscure? Mitch and I sure think so. And that's why we haven't even come up with a band name yet. People can hardly chant and scream and support your band when they don't even know what it's called.
Also don't link this to anyone... And don't tell your friends.
So without further ado, here's Mitch and my first single:
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Moody's Corner - Random Stuff of the Day
Well I had so many ideas kicking about inside of my head today that I grew tired of trying to pick one and will now dump them all onto this post. I hope this quick glimpse into the confines of my brain doesn't leave you scarred or wondering how I function normally (or semi-normally) in daily life.
A dog's bucket list
1. Find a spot to ay down
2. Turn around
3. Turn around
4. Turn around
5. Lay down
6. Trick the humans by barking at the door when you didn't actually hear anything
7. Eat a filet mignon. Or some throwup. What do you care you're a dog.
8. Get onto YouTube with an adorable video
9. Knock over a small child
10. Spade or neuter a human, see how they like it!
My favorite quotes from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(Notice the logic in this one. It's logically sound, through the premises are fallacious, which is why I found it so funny)
This one proves that the universe is uninhabited:
“It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.”
And now my real favorite, I actually laughed as I read it:
“What's the problem Earthman?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump.
"I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to," said Arthur, "it's heartless."
"Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.
"That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ..."
The Universe raged about him in its death throes.
"I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.
"May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."
"A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.
"A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.
"Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"
"Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."
It managed a very slight bow.
"Glass of water please," said Arthur.”
"I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to," said Arthur, "it's heartless."
"Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.
"That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ..."
The Universe raged about him in its death throes.
"I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.
"May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."
"A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.
"A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.
"Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"
"Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."
It managed a very slight bow.
"Glass of water please," said Arthur.”
Mary's Mission Call is Here
Guys, it's here. SOOOOOOO crazy. When she actually leaves she'll be younger than I was when I left. I still think it hasn't quite hit me. But tomorrow evening I'll be heading down to Vegas with a few of my favorite people (not mentioning any names because they don't read this anyway) and I'm really excited for it. My guess is that she goes Chinese speaking to Taiwan Taibei. She'll at least go Chinese somewhere. Gonna miss that little fireball!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Love as always, and don't panic,
Moody
Monday, November 5, 2012
Election's Eve
Dear Constituents,
Tomorrow is the General Election. Here is how politics should be...
Tomorrow is the General Election. Here is how politics should be...
Homer Stokes: Friend of the Little Man
"Is you is, or is you ain't my constituents?"
BLACK FOR RESIDENTS' BOARD
Leon Kodak: You see, the country has mood swings.
Lewis Rothschild: Mood swings? Nineteen post-graduate degrees in mathematics, and your best explanation for going from a 63 to a 46 percent approval rating in five weeks is mood swings?
Leon Kodak: Well, I could explain it better, but I'd need charts, and graphs, and an easel.
Lewis Rothschild: Mood swings? Nineteen post-graduate degrees in mathematics, and your best explanation for going from a 63 to a 46 percent approval rating in five weeks is mood swings?
Leon Kodak: Well, I could explain it better, but I'd need charts, and graphs, and an easel.
Pedro offers you his protection
One Love,
Zac
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Moody's Corner - Scary Stories
Halloween was way fun guys. I followed my sister trick or treating. And before you ask, no it wasn't my youngest sister, it was my classmate, 18 year old sister and her friends. Also this kid came along with us that I met in accounting earlier in the week. His laugh is... Hard to describe. Imagine saying 'ah' really loudly, then making it increase in pitch right near the end. Now imagine doing that in the most fake laugh you can. If you're doing it correctly, meaning if you sound more obnoxious than a howler monkey with a fog horn, then you've got this kids laugh down. Anyway I've never dreaded hearing someone laugh more in my entire life. I hope he doesn't read this, cuz it sounds mean, but if he does: Dude. Change your laugh.
After that we had the gang over to watch a Knight's Tale. Really good. Lots of snuggling. Snuggling isn't a contract, but it's very nice. Also I fell asleep like 40 times. After everyone left I stumbled on a list of the scariest internet memes. And it was legitimately scary. Here's the link. If you feel like a good read, check out the Caver story (it takes about an hour to finish but is entirely engrossing, really recommend it), the Russian Sleep Experiment (this is horrifying, not for the faint hearted, but also really really good), and the Slender Man stories (this one has a ton of branch offs and stuff, but the pictures speak for them selves, creepy). The following picture is from the legend of Smile.jpg.
So here are the links
These actually had me a bit scared, and I'm usually really good with this kind of thing... Enjoy the terror!
Lovesies,
Moody
Monday, October 29, 2012
Music Sample
Dear Readers,
Well, I am feeling kind of good right now. I have just finished a good portion of my homework and things are looking up. Today, I will grace you with a couple "feel good" songs that I enjoy.
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: The Impression That I Get
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIGMUAMevH0
Rancid: Fall Back Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSXHKlRPN1o
Also, a little hip-hop group called Can't Stop Won't Stop will be performing in Provo Friday night at 8 o'clock at Velour on University Avenue. So, "if you like what you see (hear), then put your name on it!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B36Lr0Unp4
(Cool rope swing video, but their song Up, up and Away is in the background)
Short and sweet today, people...
"Staying fresh to death like I'm drowning in Febreze,"
Zac
Well, I am feeling kind of good right now. I have just finished a good portion of my homework and things are looking up. Today, I will grace you with a couple "feel good" songs that I enjoy.
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: The Impression That I Get
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIGMUAMevH0
Rancid: Fall Back Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSXHKlRPN1o
Also, a little hip-hop group called Can't Stop Won't Stop will be performing in Provo Friday night at 8 o'clock at Velour on University Avenue. So, "if you like what you see (hear), then put your name on it!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B36Lr0Unp4
(Cool rope swing video, but their song Up, up and Away is in the background)
Short and sweet today, people...
"Staying fresh to death like I'm drowning in Febreze,"
Zac
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Halloween
So this week I am writing a little review on the 2 haunted houses i've been to or been told about so far this season.
1st- Nightmare on 13th... This was really fun! It has 3 different haunted houses, one about random movie monsters, one about clowns, and one about zombies. Of the three, I can't really decide which is the scariest. The most jumpy is the movie monster one, the most trippy is the clown one and the most like just creepy one is the zombie one. I will describe in greater detail the zombie one, you start off in the street and the zombies kind of chase you into the hospital where there are more zombies and lots of bodies and then you go into the morgue and there are bodies everywhere and you are being attacked by zombies the whole time. and then you are tested for the infection and you have to run through or you will be killed. It's pretty cool.
The clown one has a trippy part with these crazy mirror maze and the clowns are popping out everywhere. creepy. and then the spinning hallway where you feel like you are falling over the whole time and then a clown attacks if you arent paying attention. scared me a lot. and then there was a room that was at an angle and all checkered and this guy dressed in a matching checkered leotard thing that was jumping all over the place. creepy. Erica got freaked out at this part and ran into a wall.
The haunted animal one had a big section that was completely black, dark. It was scary trying to find the corners and being on the watch for little animals creatures. Not cool.
Overall, I was pleased but here are a couple recommendation. Go to Taco Bell beforehand and they should have coupons. It's $20 a person. Also, there was quite a line. Not like way bad but still expect to be waiting in line. Also, don't enter in big groups. Pairs are best. 4 maximum. This random asian couple joined us so we were 6 and they wanted to be in front the whole time and then they get all the scary parts and ya, not as fun for those behind.
2nd- House of Chaos in Orem
My friend went to this one and its cool cuz there are 3 levels of intensity. first, normal. the workers can talk and scare but thats it. second, they can touch you. grab onto you. stuff like that. and third, they can pick you up!! and carry you to other parts and leave you!! separate you from your group! crazy stuff like that. It sounds legit. I probably will got check it out.
Well thats my review. I love haunted houses, its basically the only part of Halloween that i actually really like!!
But hey, less than a month until Thanksgiving!!!!!
This is the pumpkin i carved. Best pumpkin i've ever carved actually. Kinda morbid but really cool.
well thats all
Elliott
1st- Nightmare on 13th... This was really fun! It has 3 different haunted houses, one about random movie monsters, one about clowns, and one about zombies. Of the three, I can't really decide which is the scariest. The most jumpy is the movie monster one, the most trippy is the clown one and the most like just creepy one is the zombie one. I will describe in greater detail the zombie one, you start off in the street and the zombies kind of chase you into the hospital where there are more zombies and lots of bodies and then you go into the morgue and there are bodies everywhere and you are being attacked by zombies the whole time. and then you are tested for the infection and you have to run through or you will be killed. It's pretty cool.
The clown one has a trippy part with these crazy mirror maze and the clowns are popping out everywhere. creepy. and then the spinning hallway where you feel like you are falling over the whole time and then a clown attacks if you arent paying attention. scared me a lot. and then there was a room that was at an angle and all checkered and this guy dressed in a matching checkered leotard thing that was jumping all over the place. creepy. Erica got freaked out at this part and ran into a wall.
The haunted animal one had a big section that was completely black, dark. It was scary trying to find the corners and being on the watch for little animals creatures. Not cool.
Overall, I was pleased but here are a couple recommendation. Go to Taco Bell beforehand and they should have coupons. It's $20 a person. Also, there was quite a line. Not like way bad but still expect to be waiting in line. Also, don't enter in big groups. Pairs are best. 4 maximum. This random asian couple joined us so we were 6 and they wanted to be in front the whole time and then they get all the scary parts and ya, not as fun for those behind.
2nd- House of Chaos in Orem
My friend went to this one and its cool cuz there are 3 levels of intensity. first, normal. the workers can talk and scare but thats it. second, they can touch you. grab onto you. stuff like that. and third, they can pick you up!! and carry you to other parts and leave you!! separate you from your group! crazy stuff like that. It sounds legit. I probably will got check it out.
Well thats my review. I love haunted houses, its basically the only part of Halloween that i actually really like!!
But hey, less than a month until Thanksgiving!!!!!
This is the pumpkin i carved. Best pumpkin i've ever carved actually. Kinda morbid but really cool.
well thats all
Elliott
Friday, October 26, 2012
Moody's Corner - The Sad Tale of Larry
With respect to Halloween I've decided to write a horror story! Enjoy.
Larry woke up, rolled out of bed, and looked out of his dirty window, staring intently at the bleak and dreary world he had once called home. Things hadn't always been like this. Larry remembered a time where the wrong side of the bed was less a friend a more a now and then acquaintance, seldom called on and less appreciated. He had once enjoyed the finer things in life. The occasional stroll through the fields, fine cheeses, associating with others... But alas, that world was gone. It had left with his wife.
Larry still wasn't sure what had happened that day. He remembered being waken early in the morning, but that kind of thing was normal, especially with young children in the house. What happened next was a blur of flashing lights. Even sound lost its place in his memories. He recalled fighting something with all he was worth. But he had been overpowered by whatever it was, and woke up hours later with a splitting headache.
Larry had searched for her. For weeks he hardly slept. Wandering the city in a doomed quest to restore order to his life. It was in the few days before his surrender that this pervading thought had entered his mind. Blackness. A rough, sweet blackness that might hold all of the answers he was looking for.
Larry was aware of the risks associated with that seemingly infinite stretch of dark, but at this point that made it all the more tempting. He tried to continue as he once had. But again and again that blackness crept into his mind, consuming all hope of regaining normalcy. Larry didn't remember when he decided, perhaps there hadn't been a singular moment. When pressed upon consistently one will inevitably give in. That black was like a slow but steady stream, and he the stubborn landscape.
And so the thought sunk in, taking hold on every waking moment his conscious mind could muster. Yet still he resisted. Still he continued on. Slaving over the mundane and fighting off the malaise that settled comfortably over his life. But still that stretch of beautiful, yet horrifying blackness prodded him into submission.
He yearned to take the first step onto that path. Hoping and praying that what he found was better than what he would be leaving behind. And then what he had decided on struck him. He didn't care what he found on the other side of that wide blackness. He firmly believed that anything, or nothing at all was better than what he had here. Whether or not his wife awaited him didn't matter. Whether or not he passed on into oblivion didn't matter. He WOULD take that first step. And follow it with another, and another until he knew. Because he had to know. He had to. And so he set out. Knowing that this journey would be the last.
As he arrived he became aware of a strange din that he hadn't heard the first time he'd come to this spot. But with his mind set he teetered on the edge.
Step
The thoughts and memories of the life he was leaving behind flashed through his mind.
Step
Somewhere in the distance the sound of a horn blared
Step
An old truck sped ever closer towards Larry
Step
Larry chanced a grin as he realized that his purpose in coming was almost realized
Step
A horn, quickly growing louder, repeated it's raucous beep
Step
"Darn chickens," the truck's driver swore to himself, though he made no attempt at the brakes
Step
Larry turned his head just in time to stare into the gleaming mouth of this approaching monster and thought to himself, "Finally."
The truck drove on, blissfully unaware of the life it had just taken, of the sadness that the life of that little chicken had entailed.
Its driver will never know what we do. He will forever ask himself: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" And we will think to ourselves of Larry, and silently give our answer, "To get to the other side."
In case you didn't get it, Larry was a chicken. And this whole thing was a new morbid take on that timeless classic. Hope you enjoyed it, try not to be too sad and have a happy Halloween!
Love as always,
Moody
Larry woke up, rolled out of bed, and looked out of his dirty window, staring intently at the bleak and dreary world he had once called home. Things hadn't always been like this. Larry remembered a time where the wrong side of the bed was less a friend a more a now and then acquaintance, seldom called on and less appreciated. He had once enjoyed the finer things in life. The occasional stroll through the fields, fine cheeses, associating with others... But alas, that world was gone. It had left with his wife.
Larry still wasn't sure what had happened that day. He remembered being waken early in the morning, but that kind of thing was normal, especially with young children in the house. What happened next was a blur of flashing lights. Even sound lost its place in his memories. He recalled fighting something with all he was worth. But he had been overpowered by whatever it was, and woke up hours later with a splitting headache.
Larry had searched for her. For weeks he hardly slept. Wandering the city in a doomed quest to restore order to his life. It was in the few days before his surrender that this pervading thought had entered his mind. Blackness. A rough, sweet blackness that might hold all of the answers he was looking for.
Larry was aware of the risks associated with that seemingly infinite stretch of dark, but at this point that made it all the more tempting. He tried to continue as he once had. But again and again that blackness crept into his mind, consuming all hope of regaining normalcy. Larry didn't remember when he decided, perhaps there hadn't been a singular moment. When pressed upon consistently one will inevitably give in. That black was like a slow but steady stream, and he the stubborn landscape.
And so the thought sunk in, taking hold on every waking moment his conscious mind could muster. Yet still he resisted. Still he continued on. Slaving over the mundane and fighting off the malaise that settled comfortably over his life. But still that stretch of beautiful, yet horrifying blackness prodded him into submission.
He yearned to take the first step onto that path. Hoping and praying that what he found was better than what he would be leaving behind. And then what he had decided on struck him. He didn't care what he found on the other side of that wide blackness. He firmly believed that anything, or nothing at all was better than what he had here. Whether or not his wife awaited him didn't matter. Whether or not he passed on into oblivion didn't matter. He WOULD take that first step. And follow it with another, and another until he knew. Because he had to know. He had to. And so he set out. Knowing that this journey would be the last.
As he arrived he became aware of a strange din that he hadn't heard the first time he'd come to this spot. But with his mind set he teetered on the edge.
Step
The thoughts and memories of the life he was leaving behind flashed through his mind.
Step
Somewhere in the distance the sound of a horn blared
Step
An old truck sped ever closer towards Larry
Step
Larry chanced a grin as he realized that his purpose in coming was almost realized
Step
A horn, quickly growing louder, repeated it's raucous beep
Step
"Darn chickens," the truck's driver swore to himself, though he made no attempt at the brakes
Step
Larry turned his head just in time to stare into the gleaming mouth of this approaching monster and thought to himself, "Finally."
The truck drove on, blissfully unaware of the life it had just taken, of the sadness that the life of that little chicken had entailed.
Its driver will never know what we do. He will forever ask himself: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" And we will think to ourselves of Larry, and silently give our answer, "To get to the other side."
Love as always,
Moody
Monday, October 22, 2012
McEconomics
Dear Readers,
I would first like to thank a few friends who inspired the topic for today (you know who you are).
McDonald's... So, many things come to mind when this fast food chain is mentioned. I think back to my childhood years when I would cry to visit the Golden Arches and partake of its semi-permeable chicken and beef products... Anyway, this fast food giant is all about economically making it big. How big?
I would first like to thank a few friends who inspired the topic for today (you know who you are).
McDonald's... So, many things come to mind when this fast food chain is mentioned. I think back to my childhood years when I would cry to visit the Golden Arches and partake of its semi-permeable chicken and beef products... Anyway, this fast food giant is all about economically making it big. How big?
Big enough to warrant a "super sized" documentary. (One of my favorite films...)
Big enough that The Economist puts out a yearly comparison of Big Mac prices in different countries as an illustration of "purchasing-power parity."
(Note: in 2011, a Big Mac in Israel cost 15.90 shekels. A Big Mac in the U.S. cost 4.07 USD. The exchange rate between USD and shekels was 3.4, meaning, that a "U.S" Big Mac was bought for 13.83 shekels. One could, theoretically, export U.S. Big Macs to Israel and try to make a profit. Now, the overhead costs will most likely exceed any revenue made in this venture... but, a Canadian Big Mac could be bought for 4.73 Canadian dollars (4.49 USD)... so, we could cut some of those costs by doing the same export of US Big Macs with our much nearer neighbors to the north...)
Well, you can figure this one out...
u (unemployment rate)+ 1 = McDouble
[Unemployment rate = #of unemployed/labor force]
(#of unemployed/labor force) + 1 = McDouble
...
(McDouble -1) x labor force = # of unemployed
Therefore, by decreasing McDouble, we will be able to decrease the number of unemployed Americans.
Well, I don't know if anyone thought this was funny, but...
Stay thirsty, my friends,
Zac
P.S. look out for the Chicken McNugget Fairy...
Friday, October 19, 2012
Moody's Corner - Attack of Group Puns
It happened again, this week we were struck by the power of a grop text message. this time it came int he form of puns on the name Kassie. I would love to tell you in came from some awesome story, but realistically it went like this.
Caroline: go to bed Kasshole!
Kassie: *Kassie
Me: Kasserole
Kassie: No no, we're not doing this.
And then things got crazy. Here's what was said.
JacKass
The Kasspian Sea
Kass Kisser
Why's everyone so kassy today?
Can we kasstrate her?
Kassenstance
Kassette Tape
She's a real Kassanova
She's from Kassablanca
Rocks a stratokasser
Eats kassnip
Kascade effect
She's a good kasser
And a pain in the kass
We need to kassolidate these in one place
Favorite song: Cape Cod Kassa Kassa
Kassassin
A rebel without a kass
A kassmere cardigan
Oil prices are kasstronomical!
Firing my wookie bowkasser
This just in on our special news kasst
The Cleveland Kassaliers
Kasspianage
Kasstronomy
Kasstrology: the study of Kassie's horoscopes
Kasstrati
Bible say: repent less ye be kasst off
I drive a kasserati
High tenor = kasstrato
To kassed a fishing pole
Nurse say drink kasster oil
The kaste system
Sarkassm
Kassachusettes
Kassifrass
Kasserian Section
Mi kassa es tu kassa
That was pretty krass man...
And I'm sure there were more... But man I was in tears basically the whole time.
It's been a crazy week for a lot of people, this being midterms week and all. Well this and next week. I noticed something waiting in line today... You see I was on campus for about 13 hours today. Anyway, if we studied like we do while waiting in line at the testing center all the time, we'd be really smart and wouldn't get stressed as often. Also some of the habits that people pick up right before taking a test are funny. Like the guy that repeatedly shuffles back and forth incessantly, or the girl that bobs her head, or the guy that yawns... Wait that one is me. I yawn. I'm weird sometimes. Or most of the time. Ok BYE!
Lovesies,
Moody
PS We totally got Juliana tonight and changed her facebook so that she was engaged to me. These are the memes some of her friends I don't even know made. I want to meet these people.
Caroline: go to bed Kasshole!
Kassie: *Kassie
Me: Kasserole
Kassie: No no, we're not doing this.
And then things got crazy. Here's what was said.
JacKass
The Kasspian Sea
Kass Kisser
Why's everyone so kassy today?
Can we kasstrate her?
Kassenstance
Kassette Tape
She's a real Kassanova
She's from Kassablanca
Rocks a stratokasser
Eats kassnip
Kascade effect
She's a good kasser
And a pain in the kass
We need to kassolidate these in one place
Favorite song: Cape Cod Kassa Kassa
Kassassin
A rebel without a kass
A kassmere cardigan
Oil prices are kasstronomical!
Firing my wookie bowkasser
This just in on our special news kasst
The Cleveland Kassaliers
Kasspianage
Kasstronomy
Kasstrology: the study of Kassie's horoscopes
Kasstrati
Bible say: repent less ye be kasst off
I drive a kasserati
High tenor = kasstrato
To kassed a fishing pole
Nurse say drink kasster oil
The kaste system
Sarkassm
Kassachusettes
Kassifrass
Kasserian Section
Mi kassa es tu kassa
That was pretty krass man...
And I'm sure there were more... But man I was in tears basically the whole time.
It's been a crazy week for a lot of people, this being midterms week and all. Well this and next week. I noticed something waiting in line today... You see I was on campus for about 13 hours today. Anyway, if we studied like we do while waiting in line at the testing center all the time, we'd be really smart and wouldn't get stressed as often. Also some of the habits that people pick up right before taking a test are funny. Like the guy that repeatedly shuffles back and forth incessantly, or the girl that bobs her head, or the guy that yawns... Wait that one is me. I yawn. I'm weird sometimes. Or most of the time. Ok BYE!
Lovesies,
Moody
PS We totally got Juliana tonight and changed her facebook so that she was engaged to me. These are the memes some of her friends I don't even know made. I want to meet these people.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Wood Wednesdays (formerly Witty Wednesdays) - Sugar Rush
With the wonderful day of Halloween rapidly approaching, I figured it's high time we discussed the most important thing that will come with along with All Hallows' Eve...
CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coming from an experienced sweet-tooth, this is a serious subject. Not all candies were created equal. It's rare to find a candy that's just gross, the exception being necco wafers and valentine's hearts, but there are definitely some that win king of the hill on the big rock candy mountain. Now, some of you may argue that my rankings aren't correct, but ask anybody's dentist who has eaten the most candy and I'm pretty sure I'll win, so suck it up and accept it. Now, to continue with my lists theme...
It's kind of a long list, I guess that what comes with 20 some years of extreme carb consumption. So listen to this while you scan through...
187 - Necco Wafers and Valentine's Hearts
186-44 - Insert a bunch of random Indian, Mexican and British candies, all of which I'm sure are better than Necco Wafers and Valentine's Hearts
43 - Pez
42 - Smarties
41 - Peeps
40 - Lifesavers
39 - Hershey's Kiss & Hershey's Bars
38 - 3 Musketeers
37 - Red Vines
36 - Candy Corn
35 - Candy Pumpkins
34 - Gummi Bears
33 - M&M's (if there were still crispy M&M's this would probably be higher, but they dug their own grave when they phased them out and tried replacing them with pretzel M&M's. not. the. same.
32 - Almond Joy
31 - Mr. Goodbars
30 - Reese's Pieces
29 - Whoppers
28 - Sour Patch Kids
27 - Penguin Bars
26 - Skittles
25 - Tootsie Rolls
24 - Tootsie Pops
23 - Charleston Chews (Way good if you eat them out of the freezer. That goes for Big Hunks later on too.)
22 - Starburst
21 - Salt Water Taffy
20 - Butterfingers
19 - Good & Plenty's
18 - Werther's Original
17 - Heath Bars
16 - Cow Tails
15 - Milky Way
14 - Toblerone Bars
13 - Kit-Kats
12 - Twix
11 - Milk Duds
10 - Payday
9 - Baby Ruth
8 - Chocolate Oranges
7 - Swedish Fish
6 - Big Hunks
5 - Cadbury Mini-Eggs
4 - Reese's (Mini's are the best)
3 - Snickers
2 -Aero Bars (Awesome british candybar. The mint ones are the best.)
1 - Twizzlers
I know people are going to debate my number one, so here I'll post my defense. First, Twizzlers are a hands free food. Once the package is open there's no rappers to deal with and you can eat it like a tree chipper once it's in your mouth just a little bit. Second, they're sweet, but not overly sweet, so you can eat a ton of them without have to get some milk or a glass of water which makes a lot of the chocolate products hard sometimes. Third, they don't make you're fingers gross. Chocolate tends to melt, powder gets messy, M&M's get color all over your hands, etc. So, to all those who will post to contend this, too bad. You're wrong.
Hooray for Halloween!
P.S. If anyone gives me necco wafers or Valentine's hearts for Halloween, I will tear your tongue out, because you don't deserve to taste candy anymore. You've been forewarned...
'Til Next Week!
-Roland
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Tuesdays with Ian - Formal Education Has a Pretty Steep Learning Curve
Could learning be its own reward?
For the past 21 years of my life I have been learning in a variety of different contexts, environments, and circumstances. At least 15 of my 21 have been spent in the rigid confines of formal education where, for me at least, learning commonly takes a backseat to earning an "A" and performing better than those around me. Achievement becomes not so much a function of gaining intelligence, so much as it is a function of getting the highest marks with the least amount of effort.
There are some things about formal education that seem counter-intuitive Complaining about teachers assigning difficult assignments becomes the norm. An almost reflexive aversion to anything that could be described as "difficult" or "challenging" develops as one thoroughly peruses submissions to ratemyprofessor.org in an effort to determine which prospective professor has the highest "easiness" rating. Studying is not a gay (ie light-hearted, merry, cheerful, jolly) past-time adopted for personal improvement, but a laborious task requiring almost an inhuman supply of willpower. Teachers are not benevolent educators with our best interests at heart so much as nefarious sadists bent on ruining our lives with an ever increasing burden of "assignments" designed to occupy our precious time that could be spent on other far more rewarding enterprises. Think of the countless hours of television left unwatched, number of friends left un-hung-out with, the number of thumbs left un-twiddled (generally 2 for most people)! All time ruinously sacrificed to the heathen deities of homework, projects, and papers.
Hyperbole aside, how has the pursuit of education, learning, and ultimately, greater knowledge become such a trial? After all, we not only gain knowledge, described by the Bible as preferable even to "choicest gold" (Proverbs 8:10), but are further incentivized by grades and the promise of a higher salary (actual gold if you're interested in investing in that kind of thing...) and a better position in the professional world. We should be clamoring for more assignments! More homework! More papers! We should be thrilled at the opportunity to read dense scientific studies of genomic loci and the influence their expression has on the human cell! Providence should be thanked for the creative outlet our history professor so graciously bestows in the form of a 15 page research paper on the causes of the French Revolution! Exhilaration should be our response at the prospect of spending hours in the library doing nothing but solving complex math equations! Not loathing! Not dread!
So why is it that the aforementioned response are not elicited? Here are some of my theories:
1. People are lazy - learning takes work, and, let's be honest, watching TV is so much easier
2. The love for learning should be intrinsic. Bill Gates didn't begin programming because someone assigned him to. He did it because he had passion for it. The grades and points and marks of formal education provide an extrinsic motivation that in a very real sense degrades our intrinsic satisfaction at having learned something new. Consider, for example, the fact that I am writing this blog post. It's fun. No one assigned me to do it (unless you count Zac or Johnson) and so it becomes a hobby rather than a chore. Sometimes things are mundane just because people tell you to do them.
3. Competition is at the heart of formal education. Some classes are designed to weed out the less competitive. Although this might work well for creating a ranking by which we can determine who gets better jobs and who gets worse jobs, it's not exactly an environment where passion for learning is developed. It's great to get the right answer. But it's even better if I'm right and you get it wrong.
4. Most tests are designed to elicit a structured regurgitation of information. Information told to you by your professor, who is always right. Although you may get fairly proficient at repeating facts and getting the "right" answer, it's not exactly a recipe for creative development.
There are probably more but that's about all I can think of right now.
What's the solution? Bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles! Also I don't know but I'm open to any suggestions.
Albert Einstein once said "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."
But let's be honest, he probably only said that because he was too stupid to get good grades.
For the past 21 years of my life I have been learning in a variety of different contexts, environments, and circumstances. At least 15 of my 21 have been spent in the rigid confines of formal education where, for me at least, learning commonly takes a backseat to earning an "A" and performing better than those around me. Achievement becomes not so much a function of gaining intelligence, so much as it is a function of getting the highest marks with the least amount of effort.
There are some things about formal education that seem counter-intuitive Complaining about teachers assigning difficult assignments becomes the norm. An almost reflexive aversion to anything that could be described as "difficult" or "challenging" develops as one thoroughly peruses submissions to ratemyprofessor.org in an effort to determine which prospective professor has the highest "easiness" rating. Studying is not a gay (ie light-hearted, merry, cheerful, jolly) past-time adopted for personal improvement, but a laborious task requiring almost an inhuman supply of willpower. Teachers are not benevolent educators with our best interests at heart so much as nefarious sadists bent on ruining our lives with an ever increasing burden of "assignments" designed to occupy our precious time that could be spent on other far more rewarding enterprises. Think of the countless hours of television left unwatched, number of friends left un-hung-out with, the number of thumbs left un-twiddled (generally 2 for most people)! All time ruinously sacrificed to the heathen deities of homework, projects, and papers.
Hyperbole aside, how has the pursuit of education, learning, and ultimately, greater knowledge become such a trial? After all, we not only gain knowledge, described by the Bible as preferable even to "choicest gold" (Proverbs 8:10), but are further incentivized by grades and the promise of a higher salary (actual gold if you're interested in investing in that kind of thing...) and a better position in the professional world. We should be clamoring for more assignments! More homework! More papers! We should be thrilled at the opportunity to read dense scientific studies of genomic loci and the influence their expression has on the human cell! Providence should be thanked for the creative outlet our history professor so graciously bestows in the form of a 15 page research paper on the causes of the French Revolution! Exhilaration should be our response at the prospect of spending hours in the library doing nothing but solving complex math equations! Not loathing! Not dread!
So why is it that the aforementioned response are not elicited? Here are some of my theories:
1. People are lazy - learning takes work, and, let's be honest, watching TV is so much easier
2. The love for learning should be intrinsic. Bill Gates didn't begin programming because someone assigned him to. He did it because he had passion for it. The grades and points and marks of formal education provide an extrinsic motivation that in a very real sense degrades our intrinsic satisfaction at having learned something new. Consider, for example, the fact that I am writing this blog post. It's fun. No one assigned me to do it (unless you count Zac or Johnson) and so it becomes a hobby rather than a chore. Sometimes things are mundane just because people tell you to do them.
3. Competition is at the heart of formal education. Some classes are designed to weed out the less competitive. Although this might work well for creating a ranking by which we can determine who gets better jobs and who gets worse jobs, it's not exactly an environment where passion for learning is developed. It's great to get the right answer. But it's even better if I'm right and you get it wrong.
4. Most tests are designed to elicit a structured regurgitation of information. Information told to you by your professor, who is always right. Although you may get fairly proficient at repeating facts and getting the "right" answer, it's not exactly a recipe for creative development.
There are probably more but that's about all I can think of right now.
What's the solution? Bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles! Also I don't know but I'm open to any suggestions.
Albert Einstein once said "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."
But let's be honest, he probably only said that because he was too stupid to get good grades.
 |
| Einstein's mediocre grades... and we all know what a loser he was... right? |
Monday, October 15, 2012
Captain Planet
Dear Readers,
I spent some time pondering about what to write today. I thought it was time that Monday got what it deserves, a nickname that allows us to look back into the past. Let me explain. You have "Throwback Thursday," "Wayback Wednesday," "Time Machine Tuesday," et cetera. So, let me present... "Memory Monday?" (No, worries, it's just for today). If you are too young to remember the "Captain Planet" cartoon series, stop reading now... (but seriously, stop reading).
I did a little research and it turned into a giant messy chain of... well, messiness. Please try to keep up with the following.
I spent some time pondering about what to write today. I thought it was time that Monday got what it deserves, a nickname that allows us to look back into the past. Let me explain. You have "Throwback Thursday," "Wayback Wednesday," "Time Machine Tuesday," et cetera. So, let me present... "Memory Monday?" (No, worries, it's just for today). If you are too young to remember the "Captain Planet" cartoon series, stop reading now... (but seriously, stop reading).
I did a little research and it turned into a giant messy chain of... well, messiness. Please try to keep up with the following.
"Captain Planet" was an attempt to help us, the youth, to be environmentally aware and protect the environment and recycle and all that jazz. Captain Planet was eco-friendly. As you all know, he was made up of 5 elements that were possessed in rings by 5 youths from around the world. One of them was Kwame, from Africa, who had the Earth ring. Hello, Kwame!
The "Captain Planet" series was a frequent stop for B+ list actors to show off their voice talents (i.e. John Ratzenburg, Whoopi Goldberg). The voice of Kwame was provided by LeVar Burton. Who is LeVar Burton?...
Kunta Kinte (Toby) from Roots.
Geordi La Forge from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
He was in Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones. (Whagawan dey, buddy?!?)
He fought for the environment and "stuff like that" with Tipper Gore (she's scary, but not as scary as Hillary Rodham Clinton... now that's an "Inconvenient Truth")
But, most of us know Mr. Burton like this...
Thanks, LeVar! The children of the 90's still love you!
Sincerely,
ZIPSON
Friday, October 12, 2012
My Observations
on how to get girls from movies...
First of all, I apologize for not doing my blog last week..
moving on....
So this week I watched The Phantom of the Opera and Moulin Rouge one night. It was awesome. But anyways, after watching those I've been debating with myself over which male/female duet is the best of all time. I have narrowed them down to 3... 1- Endless Love (Glee version) 2- All I Ask of You from the Phantom of the Opera and 3- A Whole New World from Aladdin.....i'm not sure about the order. and i am open to suggestions for more. they all are amazing and they all have something in common...................... THE GIRL FALLS IN LOVE!!!!
Here is the secret, girls like being sung to. And then they start singing along, and the song ends with you two madly in love, usually making out.
So, here are some things you need to avoid if you are going to try this. 1- please actually be a pretty singer. You don't need to be amazing (look at Gerard Butler) but you have to be okay 2- make sure you have a background orchestra ready. 3- If she doesn't start singing along, just stop... its just awkward.
Well Good Luck everyone. I know it will work.
Elliott
PS. I would marry Emmy Rossum tomorrow if given the opportunity
PSS. Oregon improved to 6-0 crushing Udub..
First of all, I apologize for not doing my blog last week..
moving on....
So this week I watched The Phantom of the Opera and Moulin Rouge one night. It was awesome. But anyways, after watching those I've been debating with myself over which male/female duet is the best of all time. I have narrowed them down to 3... 1- Endless Love (Glee version) 2- All I Ask of You from the Phantom of the Opera and 3- A Whole New World from Aladdin.....i'm not sure about the order. and i am open to suggestions for more. they all are amazing and they all have something in common...................... THE GIRL FALLS IN LOVE!!!!
Here is the secret, girls like being sung to. And then they start singing along, and the song ends with you two madly in love, usually making out.
So, here are some things you need to avoid if you are going to try this. 1- please actually be a pretty singer. You don't need to be amazing (look at Gerard Butler) but you have to be okay 2- make sure you have a background orchestra ready. 3- If she doesn't start singing along, just stop... its just awkward.
Well Good Luck everyone. I know it will work.
Elliott
PS. I would marry Emmy Rossum tomorrow if given the opportunity
PSS. Oregon improved to 6-0 crushing Udub..
Moody's Corner - Teriyaki Sticks and Other Disappointments
Again I found myself with a few extra minutes today, so I gave this girl a ring (not like engaged status, I hit her up on the phone, shout out to Nikki) and we headed over to grab some snackage from the CougarEat. The both of us only had about 30 minutes to eat so of course I grabbed a ready made rice bowl from the fabled Teriyaki Sticks. Bad decision people. Never in my life have I bought a bowl from that accursed place and thought, "I'm glad I ate that." Never. And this time was no exception.
It was supposed to be a spicy chicken rice bowl. What I ended up eating was some type of gelatinous whitish-brown goop topped with old chicken slathered in generic red sauce. As you can imagine I was less than pleased. But enough of that, I ate and now I'm full. Good to go. But things only got worse from there.
So me and Nikki are innocently sitting at a table a fair bit apart from everyone else. That bit is important for what happens next. You see, I had to stretch out my stomach after eating that weird lard bowl, so I pulled that move where you lean back in your chair with your hands locked behind your head. Unbeknownst to me, a person of the feminine persuasion had taken up residence behind my seat. The poor thing was just minding her business, eating her own food. Anyway, I leaned back and somehow got my hands all up in her hair.
Imagine this, you're eating alone and suddenly some stranger is playing with your hair. Weird you out right? Right. Well now you know how the poor girl who sat in the wrong place felt. I still feel bad about probably ruining her day.
In other news I just succeeded in pulling the seat belt buckle out fo my car. It's been broken for about 3 weeks now. Every no and then it would lock, but I'm not comfortable diving to Vegas without it. So I'm gonna buy a new one tomorrow. Hopefully it won't cost me any more than 20 bucks... So that's another disappointment.
Can't wait to get down to see my family. Also two of my best friends getting married. Woot woot!
It was supposed to be a spicy chicken rice bowl. What I ended up eating was some type of gelatinous whitish-brown goop topped with old chicken slathered in generic red sauce. As you can imagine I was less than pleased. But enough of that, I ate and now I'm full. Good to go. But things only got worse from there.
So me and Nikki are innocently sitting at a table a fair bit apart from everyone else. That bit is important for what happens next. You see, I had to stretch out my stomach after eating that weird lard bowl, so I pulled that move where you lean back in your chair with your hands locked behind your head. Unbeknownst to me, a person of the feminine persuasion had taken up residence behind my seat. The poor thing was just minding her business, eating her own food. Anyway, I leaned back and somehow got my hands all up in her hair.
Imagine this, you're eating alone and suddenly some stranger is playing with your hair. Weird you out right? Right. Well now you know how the poor girl who sat in the wrong place felt. I still feel bad about probably ruining her day.
In other news I just succeeded in pulling the seat belt buckle out fo my car. It's been broken for about 3 weeks now. Every no and then it would lock, but I'm not comfortable diving to Vegas without it. So I'm gonna buy a new one tomorrow. Hopefully it won't cost me any more than 20 bucks... So that's another disappointment.
Seriously though never ever buy teriyaki sticks. Not worth your money. Or the stomach pain that's bound to follow. Someone teach me how to go bed before 2 AM please.
And this is what I hope that girl was saying right before the incident. But what she was really thinking was probably something different entirely.
Love as always,
Moody
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